Coffee and Love Notes
by GingerificFabulousTime
Summary: Sousuke works at a local coffee joint and always works in the drive-thru. He liked to write notes to customers on their disposable cups, usually just a nice message to cheer people up. There has only ever been one customer who responds to his notes and they seem to be just as interested in Sousuke as Sousuke is in them. Only, the customer isn't who he has imagined. AU, fluff, smut,
1. Chapter 1 - Writing Notes

**Sousuke's POV**

I wouldn't say that I hated my job. I mean, who enjoys part-time work and dealing with the public? The answer is nobody. Even the customers don't really want to be here. They come to this coffee shop because it's a quick caffeine stop before they go to work, which I totally understand. Today was like any other, the line of customers at 8AM groggily making their way to the front of the counter. Recently I had been placed in drive-thru service, which I enjoy much better seeing as I don't have to deal with the early-morning zombies at all. I just made the coffee that was ordered and hand it to the person at the window station, who then gives it to the customer. This was ideal for me. I didn't even have to _see_ the customers.

"Sousuke, drive-thru order!" Keiichi, a fellow worker, informed me. "Caramel macchiato!"

I quickly got to my station and fixed up the beverage. Making coffee was somehow therapeutic for me now that I didn't have to talk to the public. It still wasn't a great job, but it suited me. Lately, since I didn't have to interact with customers, I found myself writing notes on their cups. Sometimes it was just a "have a good day" or a smiley face. I liked to think it made someone's day better. Regardless of what I may have seemed like on the outside, I was a good guy on the inside. So today was no different than any other when I wrote on the cup. On this cup I wrote, "You look great today." I couldn't actually see the customer, but I figured as long as this made someone feel good, it was fine.

I quickly handed the drink to Keiichi who gave me a new order, a large black coffee. As I headed back to make the drink, Keiichi stopped me.

"Ah, wait," he walked over, looking as a slip of paper. It looked like the receipt paper.

"The customer forgot their receipt? It's not a big deal, just throw it away," I said simply, preparing the new order.

"No, they didn't forget it, they gave it back to me."

"Ok...so throw it out," I was beginning to get annoyed. He should have known that throwing out receipts were not a big deal, especially if the customer didn't want it.

"It's for you," he said, the note crinkled between his fingertips.

"Huh?" I turned to him to see the little slip of white paper in his hand. What was with him today? I rolled my eyes and snatched it from him. "What, is it a complaint or something?" I looked over the receipt, making sure the customer got what they ordered. They did. Something else caught my eye. There was a little handwritten note on the bottom of the receipt. It said _speak for yourself, handsome,_ in perfect, frilly handwriting. What the…? Oh. Oh my gosh. This was a response from my note to the customer! This had never happened before. I mean, who would actually respond to a total stranger's compliment? For some reason my heart was pounding. Could this person know me? Did they like me or…?

"Sousuke-"

"What did the customer look like?"

Keiichi shook his head, "Oh no, I'm not telling you that. You're not about to try and get in this person's pants. They were far too sweet for you, anyway."

My face burned with embarrassment and a tinge of anger. "What? When have I ever tried to get in a customer's pants?" Keiichi crossed him arms, giving me a indignant look. "Ok, ok, fine. I'll find out for myself who this is. Can you at least tell me if they're my type?"

Keiichi hummed to himself, pretending to think about it. He sure knew how to annoy me. "Hmm, well, I would say they were your type. Cute, light-olive hair. But like I said, they were too good for you anyway," he teased, winking as he pat me on the arm.

"'They'? What's with that pronoun? Are they male or female?"

"It doesn't matter since you aren't going to meet them." Now he was just teasing me.

"B-but I'm just curious!" I defended myself.

Keiichi smiled devilishly, "Would it matter if they were a boy or a girl?"

My mind suddenly drew a blank. Would I care? I mean...I had never had a romantic relationship with a man. The thought made me blush. How did men even have sex? Could it actually feel good consider it was going in...there? Have I ever been attracted sexually to a man? The thought made me blush. I scratched the back of my head, still thinking. "Um-"

"Sousuke, Keiichi, get back to work! You're not paid to lollygag around!" The manager yelled from the back.

I gritted my teeth. If he decided to get off his fat ass and-ugh he was not worth my anger. I gave Keiichi a sideways glare, "This conversation is _not_ over," I whispered through my teeth.

He just chuckled and shook his head.

This was getting my head all mixed up. Who cared if someone wrote a note back to me, right? Who was I kidding, I cared. That said something about their personality, something that I never had luck with in my past relationships. Apparently I was very attracted to garbage people and they were attracted to me. Many of my relationships were purely physical at first, and when I showed my true loving side, they got scared and left. No one wanted a monogamous relationship anymore. Everyone wanted to sleep with everyone and I liked to think that I wasn't like that. If I slept with someone it was because I felt something for them to some degree. I could never do something like that to someone I didn't like.

So the weeks went on like this, everyday I wrote on a cup for that person and everyday I got a response from them in the drive-thru. It was odd, this was becoming a joy for me. I looked forward to receiving these little notes that lifted up my day. Most of them were replies to compliments that I gave them, but sometimes they were compliments to me or little quotes that brought my spirits up. I was feeling like we were growing closer and we hadn't even met face to face. Today I decided I would ask a question, saying 'would you want to meet?'. I was so curious as to who this person was and if we could actually have a relationship outside of this note-passing and flirting. My heart thumped as I wrote the question out, my hand shaking. Was I some school girl? What was this feeling? I was a grown man, for God's sake. I shook the feeling off, handing the drink to Keiichi who was working the window.

"You're blushing, Sousuke, what did you write on the cup today?" Keiichi turned the cup to look, but I glared at him. Surprisingly he stopped himself. "Fine, I won't meddle in your affairs," he said, a mischievous smile on his face. That rascal, he already was considering he was the one making this possible. My heart pounded as I awaited the response. "Ok, have a good day," I heard Keiichi say through the window.

My heart was in my throat as Keiichi turned to me, a smile on his face. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at me. "Did they leave a note?" I asked.

"Yes, they did," he looked at the slip of white paper in his hands for a moment, trying to suppress an even bigger smile as he handed it to me.

I took the note between my fingers, my heart beating erratically. It was ridiculous to be so nervous about a note, but what if this person was meant for me? What if it was fate? I turned the note to see the handwritten response, 'Yes. I'll be in the shop tomorrow at 10AM. See you then'. And there was a little smiley face with blushie marks. I felt my face get warm, my stomach fluttering. I was going to meet them tomorrow. Tomorrow my life would finally change from the boring and mundane to something to look forward to. I was so excited, but there was no way I could show that to Keiichi, he would only tease me, I was sure of it. I was usually so calm and even cold sometimes, but it was like I wasn't even myself.

"So they're coming in tomorrow?" Keiichi leaned against the counter, resting his chin on his hand.

"Yes, I'll meet them then. But how will I know it's them?"

Keiichi clicked his tongue, giving out a dramatic sigh, "Well, I _suppose_ I could point them out to you."

"Really? Thanks. Gosh, I feel like a high schooler. What's happening to me?" I chuckled to myself, running a hand through my hair.

It was Keiichi's turn to chuckle, "I didn't know this side of you existed."

I turned to him, one eyebrow raised, "What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's like you're in love with a total stranger." He responded, "Not that that is a bad thing. Knowing who this person is, I think they'll be good for you."

"So she's pretty?" I asked.

He chuckled, "Beautiful."

"And nice?" I asked.

"Very."

I felt warm inside for some reason.

 **~The Next Day~**

Today, time couldn't go fast enough. I arrived at work at 7AM, getting prepared for the 8AM rush. Only three more hours and I would get to meet the person I had been passing notes to for weeks now. I had imagined what they might have looked like. Ideally, she would be petite and sweet, maybe sort of quiet and shy. But honestly, as long as they were nice like Keiichi said, I was excited to meet them. I smiled to myself as I went through possible scenarios. I was a dork disguised as a tall, brooding man.

I anxiously looked at the clock every time a customer walked in, thinking it was time to meet the note-writer, but it wasn't. With a heavy sigh I leaned against the counter, waiting. There were no orders in for me, so I just had to wait until 10AM rolled around. Keiichi was the floor manager for today so I knew he would give me my break when that person came in the shop.

The front door opened and let in a cold draft that caused me to turn around. I looked at the wall clock; it was 10AM exactly. I quickly looked at the person who came in and saw a young man, probably my age, wearing a business suit and had short, olive hair. Olive hair. Didn't Keiichi say that the person had olive hair? No, no this couldn't have been the person. Although, he did look kind, like Keiichi said. He had an aura of sadness about him that I couldn't explain, but he still had a smile on his face. He sat at a table, fixing his blazer. He looked nervous. I wondered if he was meeting a date here.

Keiichi tapped me on the shoulder and I turned a little to look at him. "What?"

"You can go on your break now," he said, a little grin on his face.

I looked around the store and the only person here was that man. "But I thought I could wait to take my break until that person came." I said, clinging onto hope. No, of course I was flirting with a girl for the past couple weeks, not some guy.

Keiichi crossed his arms, smiling to himself, "Yeah. They came."

My heart sunk to my stomach and I was sure that the color drained from my face. "W-what do you mean? There is only that guy here…" Was I hoping against hope here? "Keiichi, did you ask me if it mattered if it was a man or woman even though you _knew_ that the person was a man?"

Keiichi got that mischievous look on his face that I wished I could punch off. "Like I said, this person is too good for you," he patted me on the back.

"I could kill you right now. You knew that I had been flirting with a man for weeks and you didn't say anything?" I whispered harshly only so that that man wouldn't hear us.

Keiichi suddenly gave me a serious glare. I had never seen a face like that on him before and it somewhat startled me. "Why does it matter if he is a man? Would that really change how happy you were to receive his notes? I recall you being very excited to meet this person today and to reject such a kind person who went along with your stupid antics it just...just awful. You're awful."

I couldn't tell if he was saying these things to get me to talk to the man or if he seriously thought these things, but either way it hurt. I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You know what, fine," I untied my apron, tossing it at him. "I am going to talk to him."

As I walked over to the table, I swear I saw Keiichi smirk. That bastard.

"Um, hello," I said to the man at the table, "I believe we are supposed to meet? You were the one who left the note for me, yes?" He turned to me, looking like a timid rabbit. I had a weird feeling in my chest. What was that? Must have been heartburn or something…

"Oh, hello," he said, beginning to stand up to greet me.

"Oh, just sit, no need to be formal," I smiled. I sat down across from him and our eyes locked. It was odd, Keiichi was right. He was beautiful. Even as a man I could identify another attractive man. Keiichi made me so frustrated. The reason I was feeling so strange around this person is all because I liked the messages the person sent, it didn't mean I had actually formed romantic feelings for him. Of course, that must be it.

"I'm Tachibana Makoto, it's nice to meet you," he bowed a little bit. He was actually pretty cute. In a totally platonic way, of course. I wasn't gay. I wondered if he was.

"Nice to meet you, Makoto-kun," I said. A light blush dusted his cheeks and I realized he may not have been comfortable with me using his given name. "Ah, may I call you Makoto-kun? Or would you prefer Tachibana-kun?"

"J-just Makoto-kun is good," He said, his smile twinkling. I had that strange feeling in my chest again. "What should I call you?"

"My name is Yamazaki Sousuke, but you can call me Sousuke." I said kindly.

"Just Sousuke?" He asked.

"Just Sousuke." I smiled. Why did I find his blushing face to be so...so cute? Ugh, the feelings I had for the person writing me notes was obviously transferring to him. But I supposed that he was one and the same, wasn't he? B-but I wasn't gay, of course, so I shouldn't have had these feelings at all.

"I really enjoyed passing notes to you, Sousuke," He said as he looked down at his hands. He fiddled with a napkin. I wondered why he was so nervous.

"I enjoyed your notes, Makoto-kun." I decided it was time to be honest. I didn't want to hurt this man by leading him on when I obviously had no intention of having a romantic relationship with him like our flirting notes may have suggested. "Um, you're different than I thought you would be."

This made him look up. "How so?"

"Uh, well" I awkwardly ran a hand through my hair, "I didn't know you were a man."

He suddenly looked deflated, like he was let down. I felt bad for him. He seemed so nice and it wasn't my intention to hurt him, but wasn't it natural to assume that flirty notes came from women? "I see. I'm sorry I'm not what you expected."

His words shocked me a little. Keiichi was right, he was too good for me. "N-no, it's not...I didn't mean to say it like that." I sighed, resting my elbows on the table, "Makoto-kun, you seem like a really good person and I would like to be friends, if that's ok." It was true, he was obviously a very kind, gentle person. He was someone who would make a great, caring friend. Plus, if I rejected him fully, who knows what he would do.

His eyes widened and he licked his lips, "If it's no trouble, I don't want to put you out or anything."

This guy. "Since when is being a friend putting me out?" I chuckled, "Don't worry about it."

"Ok," he said softly. The smile on his face was truly genuine now and it practically blinded me. My heart thumped again. Was I ill? Did I have a heart condition? What the hell was this about? I decided it was best left ignored. "So would you want to go get some dinner together tomorrow night? I work the late shift at the office so I won't be available until 7PM."

I couldn't help but smile. "Ok. Let's exchange numbers so we can clear up the details later. I have to get back to work."

When I returned home it was around 8PM. I was exhausted having working a full shift today and was feeling lonely (as usual). I went to my bedroom and took off my uniform, getting my pyjamas out for after I took my bath.

 _Makoto, huh?_ I thought. He was an interesting guy. I sat on my bed, my weight causing it to creak. With a sigh I pulled out a box from under my bed. It was filled with the notes that we exchanged over the past couple weeks. I picked out a couple to look at them, reminiscing.

 _You're a ray of sunshine_ , one of them said. _You make me smile_ , said another. My heart did that weird thumping thing again. I should have gotten rid of these. It was probably creepy to keep them. Well, not as creepy as writing the notes in the first place, I guess. It was true that these notes from Makoto really made me happy. I just wished that it was possible for us to actually be together. If he was a girl, I wouldn't have this conflict. Keiichi's words suddenly came into my brain. Was there a problem with him being a man? Did him being a man make these notes any less valuable to me? I wasn't sure. My heart wanted to say no, but my body said yes. Shit. I hated this.

 **A/N: hello there! I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! I have the rest of the chapters up until the last one planned out so writer's block can't really occur (hopefully), so I hope to have the next chapter done soon! Thanks for reading! Drop a comment if you want to motivate me ;D**


	2. Chapter 2 - Surprise Request

Sousuke's POV

The annoying beeping of my alarm woke me up, eliciting a tortured groan from me. I curled up in my nest of blankets, pressing snooze just once to allow me to slowly wake up. I suddenly remembered the strange day I had yesterday, meeting that guy named Tachibana Makoto. Last night I considered getting rid of the notes I kept in a box under my bed, but I couldn't. I think that I fell in love with the image of the person I created in my head that I derived from these notes. The thought made me a little sad. That unattainable, nonexistent person. Now I knew how anime fangirls felt when they couldn't be with the fictional character they fell in love with. I was thinking selfishly, though. Makoto was a good person. He must not have known that I was a man either. That's right, this was probably a disappointment for the both of us. That shouldn't have comforted me, but it did.

My alarm went off a second time and I finally got up. Well, at least I could look forward to having dinner with Makoto tonight. Maybe we could vent our frustrations to each other about the whole situation. Yeah.

When I got to work, Keiichi was already there preparing the morning blends. "Hey," I said tiredly. I made my way to the counter and entered the coffee station.

"So you are going out with Makoto tonight?"

The words _going out_ shocked me a little and my heart did that thumping thing again. "Uh, we are having dinner, yes, but we aren't 'going out,'" I said in finger quotes. He just scoffed at me.

"You're an ass," he chuckled humorlessly.

"Wha-just because I'm not dating him I'm a jerk?" I questioned him incredulously.

Keiichi gave me a sarcastic expression, "First of all, You have such a sour attitude in the morning, second of all, I thought you fell in love with the writer of those notes."

My ego retreated a little and I felt kinda bad. "Yeah I know. I'm sorry. He's a great guy, I can tell just by talking with him for a little bit," I sat on a stool, sighing to myself. Keiichi crossed his arms, his glare softening. "I think I did fall in love with that person, but Makoto is…"

"A man?" he asked even though he knew that's exactly what I was going to say.

"Yeah. I guess I just fell in love with a figment of my imagination."

"Interesting, I didn't realize your imagination could materialize notes out of nowhere." he snorted.

It was my turn to glare at him. "You know what I mean."

"I know. All I'm saying is, you should give him a chance, even just as a friend."

"I know you're right. He's a good person and I do intend on becoming friends with him. Hopefully great friends." I got up, making my way to fill one of the coffee brewers. "Say, why are you so interested in him in the first place? Maybe _you_ should date him," I chuckled.

He laughed, "No, I already have my eye on someone. But now that you ask, I guess I'll tell you." He turned to face me, leaning his back against a counter. "I've known Makoto for a while and I've heard his story. He deserves a good person and for some reason my stupid ass thought of you-even though in my heart I know he's too good for you," he added jokingly, knowing it would piss me off.

"Yeah, yeah you've said that a billion times. Get on with it." I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't get rid of the smile that spread across my face.

"Just know, that if you hurt him as his friend or his lover, I won't be able to forgive you," he said, totally serious.

I blushed at his words. Lover? Since when did Makoto jump from stranger to lover? "Keiichi, I just don't get you. Didn't you just meet this guy, too? Why are you getting all defensive?"

"Ah, look at the time, we have to start brewing the coffee." He smiled cheekily and went to get fresh coffee beans from the back. That was his way of saying 'I don't want to talk about this anymore.' Fine, I could take a hint, but I wasn't about to leave this here. This conversation would be finished eventually.

The day was slow and agonizing, but at closing Keiichi gave me a note. "Makoto came thru the drive-thru and wanted me to give this to you."

"Ah, why didn't you tell me? I would have written something on his cup," I took the note from him and read it.

 _Meet me at the new sushi place on XXX_ _street at 7PM. Sorry if I'm a little late ._

For some reason it made me smile even though it was just telling me where the restaurant was. I could almost see him making the little face he drew on the note. My thumb lingered over the smooth receipt paper, running over his words.

"Come on, lover boy, let's clean up so you can get going." Keiichi teased, elbowing me in the side. I rolled my eyes, unable to hold back a smile. If it made him feel better to tease me, I wasn't going to stop him. Honestly, I kind of liked it.

* * *

I kept the note in my pocket, retrieving it to make sure I was at the right address. Yep, this was it. I looked up to see the modern neon lights. This place was hopping with excitement and people. It kind of surprised me the quiet Makoto would want to go to a place like this, but it seemed nice.

When I walked in I saw Makoto sitting on a bench next to the host's stand. He was looking at his phone, still wearing his business suit, complete with reading glasses. I didn't want to admit it, but he looked kinda cute with those thick-rimmed glasses on.

"Hey, Makoto-kun," I greeted him. I must have startled him because he looked up at me, shocked.

"Oh, hello Sousuke," he stood up, his face shining with a smile, "Sorry, I was so focused on a text message I got I didn't realize you were here."

"That's ok. I hope it wasn't anything bad."

"No, nothing like that. Just an old...friend," He stuffed his phone quickly in his pocket and turned to the hostess. "Hi, we'd like a table for two, please." He was so polite and reserved. As he talked to the hostess, I realized she was flirting with him. She was definitely making a pass at him, but he didn't seem to notice. And she was cute, too. What a shame.

She sat us down at a cozy table in the corner and we thanked her.

"I'll be back to take your orders in a moment, in the meantime can I get you two something to drink?" she said 'you two', but she was only looking at Makoto.

"I think I'll have a draft beer," Makoto said. This surprised me. He didn't seem like the drinking type.

"And you, sir?" The hostess finally looked at me, but her expression was totally different. Almost bored-looking. I was a little insulted to be honest. I was a pretty good-looking guy, so what was the problem with me?

"I'll have the same. Thanks," I said as she took the drink menus from us.

"Ok, I'll be back in a moment to get your orders." She once again was locked on Makoto. Why was this pissing me off? She didn't deserve to look at him like that! But why was I getting jealous? We weren't dating…

Once she was out of earshot I leaned into Makoto a little, "Did you see the way she looked at you? And how she wouldn't stop talking to you when she led us to the table? I think she likes you," I patted his arm and gave him a wink.

He blushed a little. "Ah, I don't think that's what it is." He fingered through the menu pages.

"Trust me, I know women. She likes you!" I laughed.

He joined in laughing with me, "Well I guess it's too bad I don't go for-"

"So what can I get you two?" The hostess was back again. It hadn't been very long, so I was surprised. She set our beer down on the table and got out a pad of paper and a pencil, waiting for Makoto's response.

"I think I'll have fugu, sashimi, and the Dragon roll, please."

She jotted down his order then turned to me. "And for you?"

"I'll have the fried rice and the sashimi, as well."

"All right, I will be back shortly with your orders."

Thankfully, she left again and we were able to continue talking. "So, you were saying?" I asked, taking a sip of my beer. Makoto took a drink of his as well.

"Nothing. So, do you write notes to all the customers in the drive-thru?" He asked. He smiled, looking so innocent.

"Not all, but most. I like to think that it brings people a little cheer as they are starting their work day. Work can be stressful to say the least." I set my beer down, waiting for Makoto's response.

"That's so great. When I got my very first note from you I was having such a terrible morning, but after I got that note, my day was suddenly better. So, thank you," He smiled so warmly it was like I was staring at the sun. My chest even felt the warmth.

"I'm glad it made you feel that way. No one has ever responded to me before, you know," it was my turn to smile as I recalled that day. It was so out of the ordinary. "I think I felt the same way you did."

Makoto blushed cutely. Er, for a guy, I mean. Of course. "Well, probably not the _same_ way, but I think I know what you mean. So, do you like working at the coffee shop?" He asked, setting his beer down. I suddenly realized how beautiful his eyes were. They sparkled even though it was dark. I couldn't stop staring at him, strangely enough. Keiichi was right, he _was_ beautiful.

"Oh, um," I caught myself staring and I quickly averted my eyes and drank some more. "It's ok. My dream is to have a cafe of my own, but right now I don't have the finances to be able to do it. How about you? What do you do?"

Makoto cleared his throat, loosening his tie. My eyes were instantly drawn to his slender fingers and his throat that was slowly being revealed to me further. Shit, what was wrong with me? Why was I imagining that throat peppered with love bites? Must have been the alcohol. "I work at a law firm. Right now I just assist prosecutors, but I hope that someday I will become a prosecutor. Although your dream of running a cafe sounds wonderful." He was so kind. I wondered how someone because as kind as him. Surely that was genetic because I had never met someone like him before. I felt like I was being drawn into him, as weird as that sounded. It kind of scared me.

"Yeah. My family has their own restaurant business, but we aren't on the best terms lately." Ah shit, I probably shouldn't have been been bringing up family problems like this… "Oh, sorry I-"

"I'm sorry to hear that. It's always tough when a family doesn't understand their child." Makoto was a very sensitive person, it seemed. It made me feel relieved for some odd reason. "My parents and I aren't exactly talking right now, either."

"Oh? Why is that?" I didn't want to butt-in, but the words were already out of my mouth.

"I, uh," he blushed for some reason, taking a swig of his beer, "I'm gay. I guess they don't _approve_."

I felt weird for some reason. Not because he was gay, that didn't bother me in the slightest, but I was getting this thumping sensation again. Before I could respond, the hostess brought us our food, once again eyeing Makoto. For some reason I wanted to tell her to quit looking at him. It wasn't that I wanted her to look at me, I just didn't want her to look at _him_.

We thanked her and she went on her way, but she slipped Makoto a note first. A flash of anger went through me, but there was no real reason for me to be angry. I should have been happy considering Makoto was gay and wasn't interested in her, anyway. I just wasn't sure why I cared in the first place. "So, what does the note say?" I asked, beginning to eat my fried rice.

Makoto looked at it for a moment, then said, "She says, 'call me and I'll show you a good time', and her phone number is on here."

"May I?" I held out my hand to take the note. He nodded. I snatched it from him, looking at it for myself. "Hm, my notes are better, but I can appreciate her determination." I tried to make a joke of it because I would have shown how I really felt if I didn't. I couldn't believe I was actually jealous. I passed him so many notes that I lost count, but I was jealous over this one? It made no sense.

Makoto laughed. "You're right," he said, taking a bite of his sashimi. My heart fluttered. God, I was acting like a middle-schooler on their first date. That's right, I wasn't even a high schooler metaphorically anymore. I had been demoted. "I know that some of our notes were just jokes and stuff, but a lot of mine were actually serious," He said shyly, unable to keep eye contact.

"W-which ones?" I asked.

Ringing came from somewhere and it startled me. Makoto set his chopsticks down, and got his phone from his pocket. "Sorry," he apologized, "apparently it's urgent." He answered the phone, "Hello?" His expression went from carefree and happy to frowning. I wondered who he was talking to. "I see. Well, maybe tomorrow, then," he said. "Yeah. I'll text you later. Bye." He put his phone away, turning back to me, "Sorry about that."

"Are you ok?" I asked. His change in expression made me worry.

"Yeah, it's just...That was my ex-boyfriend. He wants to meet up tomorrow. I'm sure he wants to get back together, but I have told him 'no' so many times. I don't know why he thinks I would change my mind." He looked stressed, running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help somehow," I said. I knew exactly what it was like to have persistent exes. I wondered what his ex was like. Did he treat Makoto right? Did he love him? Makoto sighed, looking at his food for a moment. He suddenly looked up, startling me. "What is it?"

"Well, I have an idea, but I don't know if you would be comfortable with it."

"Just tell me," I urged him to spill the beans.

"Um, if you could pose as...my boyfriend...maybe?" his blush went all the way up to his ears and he continued, saying, "N-nevermind, I'm sorry, that was a stupid idea-"

"I'll do it," I said. Makoto looked at me with a shocked expression.

"Really?" He seemed relieved, which made me wonder how this boyfriend treated him if he was this desperate.

"Of course. We're friends, so it's only right," I said as I spooned some more fried rice in my mouth. The word 'friend' felt weird coming out of my mouth for some reason, but it shouldn't have and I knew that much.

"Great. Thank you so much!" I could tell Makoto was so grateful and he looked so adorable when he was happy like this. For some reason I wanted to see that face more often.

The rest of the evening went wonderfully. We talked about our childhoods and our likes and dislikes. We were actually more similar than I originally thought. Talking to him made me think about my past relationships. I don't think I had ever felt so comfortable with someone before, especially after just meeting them. He made me think about my past girlfriends. They were never as nice or, honestly, as beautiful as him. He had the kind of beauty that was on the inside as well as the outside, which was a rare find.

When I got home, I immediately went to my room to look through my box of notes. Earlier he said that he was serious in some of his notes and I was determined to figure out which ones those were. I spread them all out on my bed and my eyes scanned over them all. For some reason, one stood out to me and there was no reason it should have.

It said, _I like you a lot._

My heart fluttered, but I was still apprehensive to accept what I was feeling. I wasn't sure if I was reacting this way because he was so cute, or maybe because I hadn't dated anyone in a long time. But if I didn't feel romantically for him, then why did I agree to pose as his boyfriend? Ugh, I was just as conflicted as I was earlier. If I didn't care that he was gay, why did it matter if I was? I dropped my face in my hands, sighing. What was happening to me?

* * *

 **A/N: Hello! I hope you liked this chapter! Things are gonna start moving now! How do you think Sousuke will address his feelings? What do YOU think he's feeling? Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Thank you for reading and thank you to those who commented and followed!**


	3. Chapter 3 - Battle of The Boyfriends

Sousuke's POV

I didn't sleep well that night. I was nervous and excited all at the same time. I felt like it was Christmas or something. It made no again I was behaving like a schoolgirl. In my moment of crisis, I texted Keiichi, hoping he could be of some help.

[Hey, Keiichi, I told Makoto I would pose as his BF to scare off his ex. Umm...I'm not sure what that means. Like I actually wanted to do it.]

With a shaky finger I pressed send. Even though it was early in the morning and I wasn't expecting him to be up when it was his day off, he responded. My heartbeat quickened as I opened the text.

[Well, what do you find appealing about the role in the first place?] he sent.

I couldn't even answer that in my own mind, much less explain it to him, but I tried the best I could. [idk, I just want to protect him, I guess. But I know it's not the motherly type of protection, for sure.] I was embarrassed just by typing this out. I felt like I was making some sort of confession.

[There's nothing wrong with trying to protect him, even friends want to do that for their friends.] I let out a sigh of relief at his text. [But I would try to be romantic with him while you are acting and maybe that will help you figure out your feelings.] Ah, there was the Keiichi I knew and loved.

[What do you suggest I do?] I couldn't believe I was going to go along with this.

[Hold hands or sit close together on the couch or something. You could try to kiss him, maybe. He seems to like you in that way.]

I wished he hadn't said that. Not that I was opposed to the idea of these actions, but I felt like I would be getting my hopes up. I guess I kind of knew how I felt about him, didn't I? I was almost afraid to kiss him because I felt like I would reveal a part of myself that even I had not discovered yet. This was kinda scary.

[Keiichi, do I seem gay to you?] I sent cautiously.

[seem gay? How does someone "seem" gay?] he responded.

[you know, like, could you see me dating guys?] I clarified. I nervously awaited his answer as I saw those three little dots, telling me he was typing. I waited in agony for what seemed like at least five minutes.

[honestly, I could. To be real for a minute, I never liked any of your girlfriends and I felt like you didn't really either, at least not in that way.]

I recalled my most recent relationship with a woman from the coffee shop. She seemed nice and sweet and so we started dating, but I think that maybe Keiichi was onto something. I liked her, but thinking back, it was more of a friendship than a romantic relationship. I mean, we never did things that couples normally did. And even if I ever decided to sleep with a girlfriend, I didn't feel as connected as what I thought I should. I think I often mistook feelings of caring as feelings of love, when they obviously weren't the same, which was what got my relationships in trouble in the first place.

[i appreciate your honesty] I texted back, [im just not sure what to do about this.]

[i guess I don't understand why being gay is such a big deal to you in the first place. Makoto is gay and it's not like that bothered you.]

Once again, he was right. [Yeah, I guess I'm just worried of what people will think.]

Also, my underlying crisis, I thought.

[If you're in love, who cares what people think?]

I stared at that message for a while, trying to absorb it. He was right, but I just didn't know if I was strong enough to stand the scrutiny of others. Makoto really was better than me.

* * *

Around 4pm I got a text from Makoto saying, [my ex should be at my house around 4:30. When did you want to come over?]

My heartbeat quickened and I returned the message, but at the same time I tried not to appear too eager and respond too quickly. Jeez, relationships were too much analyzing. [ok, I can be there by then. What is your address?] I asked.

[its 1237 XXX street, in the apartment complex there. Apartment 455.]

[ok, I'll be there shortly.]

I got up and decided to change my outfit. If I was going to play as his boyfriend, then I was going to be the best damn boyfriend his ex ever laid his eyes on. I wasn't sure why I wanted to go all out, I just did. Part of me really wanted to impress Makoto, too.

I grabbed a charcoal gray v-neck and black skinny jeans from my dresser. I then grabbed an old leather jacket I used to wear all the time. It was a little rough for wear, but that was a part of its charm. As I slid on my new outfit, I grabbed my wallet, deciding that I should get something to top it all off.

I made it to Makoto's apartment just in time and knocked on the door. As I waited for him to answer, I looked around the hallway. This was such a nice building. It had a sleek, modern interior and I could tell that it was not cheap to live here. I was curious as to how much Makoto made in order to be able to afford such an exorbitant apartment. The door creaking open caught my attention and I turned to see Makoto in the doorway, a warm smile on his face.

"Hello, Sousuke," he said. My eyes scanned him up and down and he seemed to do the same for me. He was wearing a green hoodie with a tank top underneath and gray sweats with a drawstring waist. I had never seen him without a business suit on and I admitted that he looked extremely attractive in that, but he also looked so casually hot in this outfit. Admitting this to myself was the hardest thing, and yet it felt liberating at the same time. "You look great," he murmured shyly, probably holding I wouldn't hear.

"I should be saying that to you," I responded with a chuckle. "Oh, these are for you," I said, revealing a bouquet of roses from behind my back.

Makoto's eyes grew wide, a delightfully shocked expression on his face. "Oh my goodness, you didn't need to do that," he said in a voice of awe. It made me curious; had any of his past boyfriends bought him anything nice? He seemed so surprised. I mean, not that I was his real boyfriend or anything, but if I was I would buy him stuff...hypothetically speaking.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't spoil you?" I said jokingly, handing him the flowers.

That rosy blush of his returned and he took the flowers from me. "They're so beautiful, thank you." He looked at them for a moment, just basking in the beauty of their delicate petals. His fingers lightly brushed them, making me realize how beautiful his hands were. "Wow…" he said so softly that I could tell his mind was wandering off. I wondered what he was thinking about. "Well, uh, welcome to my apartment, please make yourself comfortable!" He walked inside, immediately going to the kitchen to fill a vase with water.

His apartment was unlike anything I had ever seen before. A whole wall was just windows looking out over the city and the hardwood floors were decorated with a couple fluffy throw rugs. His furniture was all white and had crisp lines just like everything else in his apartment. I looked over to him, glancing into the kitchen. There were granite countertops and the stainless steel alliances seemed to shine. I was incredibly impressed with him. Not that I wasn't before, of course, but I just didn't picture him living in a place like this. "Your apartment is so beautiful. It looks like it could be in a magazine." I gushed, still fawning at all the decor.

"Oh, thank you," he said, setting the base of roses on the glass coffee table. "So just to give you the rundown on everything, my ex's name is Haru. We dated through college and just broke up about five months ago." He sat in the pristine white couch and patted the area next to him, offering me a seat. I nodded, smiling and sitting next to him. The closer I got to him, the louder my heart seemed to pound. "He still wants to get together even though he cheated on me with my long-time friend Rin. Long story short, when I found out, I broke up with him and I don't intend on getting back together. He just doesn't seem to get the message. I think it's just because Rin broke up with him and he needs someone to keep him together emotionally, but I...I deserve more than that in a relationship." He looked away as he said the last sentence, almost like he didn't want to believe it himself, but he knew it was true. My chest ached a little bit for him. He deserved to have a wonderful, loving relationship. I had never been cheated on, or at least I didn't know about it, and Makoto was the last person who deserved that kind of treatment.

"You definitely deserve better than that," I agreed with him. "What would you like me to do as your new boyfriend?" I said in quotes.

Makoto crossed his arms, bringing one hand up to rest on his chin like he was thinking. "Well, I guess just normal relationship stuff like holding hands maybe?" He said. "I-if you're ok with that, I totally get it if you aren't comfortable with that," he quickly corrected himself.

I couldn't help but chuckle at his nervousness. It made him somewhat adorable. "That's fine with me. Just let me know if I'm laying it on a little too heavy."

He raised his eyebrows as if to ask what I meant, but just as his mouth opened to speak, the doorbell rang. He excused himself to the door and I heard a muffled voice respond to his own. I tried to listen in as much as possible, but I really didn't hear anything besides some superficial greetings.

"Haru," he said, motioning to me, "Meet Sousuke, my boyfriend." I stood up to introduce myself. Just by looking at Haru, he did look like a good match for Makoto, but a pang of jealousy went through me. He had seen the sides of Makoto that I might never see. The thought made me a little upset, but I hid it well.

"Hello, Sousuke," he said. He seemed business-like, but that was probably because we both felt the awkwardness in the air with the whole circumstance.

"Well, let's sit down and talk for a bit. Haru, what did you want to talk to me about?" Makoto stood next to me and I instinctively took his hand in mine. He flinched for a moment, surprised, but his hand settled in to mine after a moment. His hand was so warm and soft and his grip was firm. Even though he was the one who needed comforting, I felt like he was still concerned about my feelings in all this, too.

We all went to the couch, Haru sitting at the far end away from Makoto and I. He shot me a glare and a chill went through me. But I soon reminded myself that I was the boyfriend now, so I had to protect Makoto from anyone who made him uncomfortable. I mean, if I was his real boyfriend…

As we leaned into the back of the couch, my arm came around his waist, resting on his hip. I thought I saw him blush. His body heat felt good against me, and for some reason I felt comforted about my own problems. It was as if they melted away when Makoto was near me, but when I was alone, I was confused about my feelings. I needed to live in the moment; I needed to embrace the feelings inside me, but after thinking a certain way for such a long time, it was difficult.

"Makoto," Haru started, "I want to apologize for what happened between us. I know I betrayed you by dating Rin-"

"Well, not so much dating as much as cheating with," I blabbered out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Makoto tried to stifle a chuckle, his body shaking against mine. He bit his lip to keep from smiling, but ultimately failed. That smiling face sent a warm sensation through my body. I couldn't help but smile as well.

Haru glared at me and clicked his tongue. "Anyway, I know that happened, but I still love you, Makoto."

If I could have rolled my eyes without being judged I totally would have. Haru's hands went out towards Makoto's and I quickly used my free hand to hold both of Makoto's, effectively shielding his hands from Haru's. So maybe I was overdoing it, but I was actually enjoying myself, which said something. Makoto turned his head to smile at me, both of his hands coming around mine like a clam shell. Any onlooker would have assumed we had been dating for years and were still stuck in the puppy-love stage.

"I appreciate you coming down here to tell me that," Makoto started, "but I have no intention of taking you back again. I do love you, Haru, but not like I did before. What you did really hurt me and I don't think I could trust you now. Plus, look at the wonderful boyfriend I have now," he looked at me, his eyes sparkling like a proud parent. Makoto was a spectacular actor, but I couldn't silence the part of me who wanted to believe this was real.

Haru sighed heavily. "I understand. I just wish things were different."

"I'm sorry," I piped in, "but I can't feel bad for you. You made your bed and it's time to lie in it," I said to Haru. "Makoto deserves someone who can love him unconditionally and trust with his whole heart. You had your chance and you decided to take the wrong route." Makoto's grip tightened on my hand. I have him a look, asking if that was too much, but he just beamed at me. He must not have been used to people standing up for him.

Haru, on the other hand, glared even more at me. "Hm, what a nice boyfriend you have, indeed."

Makoto's head whipped around to Haru, "Considering he understands how a trusting relationship works and loves me for who I am, yeah. I do," he stated. His statement made my heart thump. "If we are done here, I think you can leave." Makoto motioned Haru to the door. "I'm not making the same mistake a third time. I don't think I could handle that much heartbreak in one lifetime."

My arm that was around his waist held him tighter. To think Makoto ever had a broken heart caused me physical pain. He was nothing but a perfect gentleman and deserved someone who cared and loved him and protected him. Keiichi was right, his story was not an easy one, but I was having this growing feeling inside me like I could be the one to give him those things. That is, if I figured out what I even felt, first.

Haru stood up and bowed slightly, saying goodbye. "Ok Makoto. I guess this is goodbye."

Makoto stayed sitting with me, almost like he was making a statement to Haru. "Yes, I suppose it is."

With that, Haru took his leave, his heavy footsteps resonating on the hardwood floors. I waited till the door slammed shut to look at Makoto, who, oddly enough, had twinkling tears in his eyes. I panicked a little, removing my hands from him and positioning my body to face him. I put a hand on his knee and he looked over at me. "Are you ok?" I asked sincerely.

Makoto let out a soft laugh as he wiped a tear away. "I'm better than ok. I'm wonderful. I haven't felt this free in months...years, actually." I smiled at him, truly in awe of him. "Thank you so much for doing this for me. You said things that I could never say about myself. You were a perfect boyfriend," he chuckled.

The way he said boyfriend made my pulse pick up a little for some odd reason.

"I'm just glad I could help. Ha, I feel kinda bad for Haru. He came all the way here for a five minute rejection," I laughed.

Makoto joined me, saying, "Serves him right."

"True," I responded. Once our laughing died down, I sighed, still locking eyes with him. "I think we should celebrate this victory; what do you think?"

He looked at me with a knowing smile. "I have beer in the fridge, if you'd like."

I smiled, "I'd love one."

We started out sitting on the couch next to each other, bodies relaxed and stretched out. Makoto unzipped his hoodie and I tossed my leather jacket to the side.

It had only been a little while and I already finished my first beer, my stomach already tingling and warm because of it. Makoto took more time, carefully sipping and savoring each mouthful. Light conversation about work occurred, but we quickly moved on to more serious topics like family problems, which we both had.

"So yeah, I don't want to take over the family business because I want to have my own café instead, but my parents are hellbent on getting me to take over once my father retires. That's why we really aren't on speaking terms. They even removed me from their Wills until I agree." I scoffed, "as if that would change my mind."

Makoto looked at me sadly, "I'm sorry to hear that. I wish your parents understood how much that café dream means to you. Sometimes parents assume what is best for us rather than actually letting us decide our paths. That's kind of my problem, I guess," he stopped to drink some more of his beer, "So I already told you that they don't agree with my lifestyle-whatever, a lot of people don't, so I wasn't surprised with that-but what did surprise me was that they tried to set me up with girls. Like, I had marriage interviews." He seemed horrified even just talking about it. "I was so angry that they didn't even try to listen to me that I kind of ran away to college and came here. But college introduced even more stress in my life, relationship-wise."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well I met Haru my first year at university and after about a month of talking we started going on dates and soon we referred to each other as boyfriends. At first things went really well, we hung out and studied together and did normal things that couples do, but Haru really wanted to...uh...consummate our relationship after a couple of months and I just wasn't ready for it. He was my first romantic relationship, after all."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I think it's terrible when couples try to pressure each other into doing things." I cracked open another beer and started drinking more.

"Yeah. So I think that's why he cheated on me. Not to say that he didn't love Rin, but I think they kind of knew that their relationship was based on sex." Makoto finished his beer and set the bottle off to the side. He grabbed another and began to drink it.

"Yeah those kinds of relationships never work out. I would know." I accidentally blurred out something about my shameful past.

"Have you had those types of relationships before?" He asked curiously.

I was apprehensive to answer at first, but Makoto deserved to know, especially if I wanted to date him. Being open and honest were the things that built strong relationships. "Sort of. I really thought I loved the girl, but she apparently was in it for the physical stuff. I mean, at first I think I was, too, but that's not all there is to a relationship and I knew that. She ended up breaking up with me because I told her I loved her." Remembering that time brought back terrible memories. My heart ached thinking about it, but when I looked up at Makoto, I somehow felt that things weren't so bad. Not everyone was horrible.

"I'm sorry, that's awful. It seems we are a great match in the exes department," he laughed.

I quickly joined in. "It would seem so. But I think we match in other ways too." I didn't even realize it at first, but my voice sounded a little flirty.

Makoto blushed, his ears turning pink. He tried to hold back a smile. "Yeah? What's your favorite kind of pet?"

I chuckled at the simplicity of the question and carefully thought about it. "Probably cats because you don't have to walk them or bathe them. Plus their purring is very calming. And they don't shit all over the house haha!" I thought I was the funniest person when I was drinking. Makoto apparently did, too, because he joined me in laughing.

"Yeah? Me too! Ok, next, what's your favorite sport?" He leaned in a little, beginning to get excited.

"Um, I'd have to say swimming. I swam in high school and I still like to when I have time."

"No way!" He said in awe, "swimming is my favorite, too. I swam for my university!"

"Wow, you must be great then," I remarked, tipping my bottle up to cheer him.

"Well I wasn't horrible," he said modestly.

"I was wondering how you were in such good shape," I said while downing some more beer. Oh...did that just leave my mouth? I thought.

Makoto's blush deepened so I knew I must have. Of course I had to make things weird. "You're in great shape, too." He said shyly, tucking some of his hair behind his rosy ear.

We both just sat there in content silence for a moment, enjoying another beer and, oddly enough, just looking at each other. "Makoto, we should definitely do this more often. This is the most fun I've had in the long time," I admitted, finding it hard to keep eye contact.

Makoto bit his lip to unsuccessfully hide a smile. "Yeah, me too."

We looked at each other again, both of us knowing this was going to be a long night together.

* * *

"Makoto," I hiccuped, forgetting the honorifics for a moment in my drunken state

"Hmm?" He asked while drinking his seventh beer.

"Pass me another?" I outstretched my hand to him.

We sat next to each other on the floor in front of the couch, leaning onto each other's shoulders. My body felt warm and tingly, but it was different from being drunk (although I was). I wondered if having Makoto next to me was contributing to the tingling in my body. God he was hot...oops, my alcohol induced brain was slipping. I hoped I didn't say that out loud.

"Haven't you had enough?" Makoto teased, his cheeks rosy from the alcohol. I didn't think it was possible, but he got even cuter when he was under the influence of alcohol. "You're gonna hate yourself tomorrow for drinking so much." He nudged me in the side, winking at me.

I felt heat rush to my face and my eyes widened. "Mmm, then I'll hate myself tomorrow, what's new?" I laughed. Self-deprecating humor was always a winner in my book.

Makoto turned to me sitting on his knees, his face serious, "No, no, no," he slurred, "Sousuke is the most wonderful man. You should love yourself!" He set his beer on the floor and put both hands on my shoulders. His touch, no matter how platonic, sent sparks through my body. "Ok?" He said drunkenly.

I smiled, my gaze turning soft. "Makoto, you are beautiful," I suddenly said gently.

His eyes widened as he looked at mine and I felt a magnetism between us drawing us closer. His hands slipped from my shoulders and back to his thighs.

"You think I'm...beautiful?" He asked, hardly coherent.

"I do," I admitted. I let my hand gently brush his bangs to the side, my body seeming to have a mind of its own.

"You're so nice to me, Sousuke. Why are you so nice to me?" He asked, his voice barely above a murmur.

I swallowed nervously and my heart suddenly sped up. "Because you're you." When I said this his eyebrows furrowed in confusion so I elaborated. "You are kind and gentle and sweet. There's a lot more I could say, but my brain is barely working," I chuckled.

Makoto smiled as he leaned in a little, getting dangerously close to my face. My heart rose to my throat. "Sousuke, when I broke up with Haru, Jun told me about you," he admitted, "and at first I thought, this guy would never like me; he's so out of my league-"

"Pfft!" I let out a laugh.

"No seriously!" He licked his lips before he continued, "and then when we started passing notes, I realized how down-to-earth you were." The atmosphere suddenly turned serious. "I think...I think I fell in love with you before we even met," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, his lips centimeters from mine.

I didn't even know what to say. I wanted to tell him how I felt, I wanted to tell him how I really liked him. But I also wanted to admit that I wasn't sure about this. I was scared, honestly. This was a whole new realm for me.

His cologne wafted to my nose, the fresh, piney smell arousing me more than any woman's perfume ever did. He was down to his tank top at this point and the one sleeve was lopsided, showcasing his muscular yet soft chest and collarbones. I swallowed, trying to get a hold of myself. I imagined pressing hot, needy kisses to his chest, sucking on his collarbone...Ack! I couldn't let my amplified, drunken emotions rule over me, but the longer he looked at me with such puppy eyes, the more I wanted to give in.

I took one of his hands and put it over my heart. "Do you feel that?" I asked, the tip of my nose brushing his sweetly.

"Mmm-hmm," he murmured.

"Whenever I'm around you my heart does this. I've...I've never been in a relationship with a guy before, Makoto." I licked my lips, "but for some reason I find myself being drawn to you more than any woman I ever dated."

"What do you think it means?" He asked, his eyes beginning to close, lips brushing mine with every word he spoke. Oh God...

"I really like you, Makoto. At first I thought I just liked the idea of who the writer of those notes were, but I think it's you. All you." My hand came up to caress the side of his face which was burning under my touch. "I want to know you better. I want to properly date you and hold you and-"

"Kiss me?" He whispered.

"Yes," I breathed. I could only imagine the feeling of his lips pressing fully against mine and our tongues sliding together. I blushed even more than I already was, my eyes searching his.

"Nnn…" Makoto let out a soft noise, which at first I thought was a sound of pleasure, possibly, but then his lips brushed down my jaw and he rested his head against my shoulder. His body curled into mine and my arms came around his muscled body. "I'm gonna pass out…" he slurred. It was probably for the best considering my heart would have exploded if we kissed.

I chuckled, "In that case, we should probably get to bed."

"But it's so early," he whined.

"But we both are tired and wasted," I reminded him.

"Oh yeah," he mumbled as if this was news to him. "Can we sleep here?" He asked, looking like he was falling asleep against my chest already.

"Yeah." I held him against my body and laid back on the fluffy shag rug. "Is this ok?" I asked.

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed. I couldn't believe what was happening. Makoto was laying on my chest, breathing deeply. "Your heart is beating so fast," he remarked.

I chuckled in my throat, "I'm nervous," I admitted. It wasn't everyday that this kind of stuff happened to me.

Makoto tapped my chest in time with my heartbeat. "Don't be. It's just me."

"That's why I'm nervous."

"That's silly," his hand stopped tapping and his thumb gently brushed back and forth. "I'm just a normal, everyday person."

"I wish you saw yourself as I see you, then," I said, my voice drifting off as my eyes closed, "because you are anything but ordinary." Makoto must have fallen asleep because he didn't respond and his breathing was slow and rhythmic. I felt myself slipping into sleep's warm embrace and my dizzy, foggy mind was finally able to rest. "Goodnight, Makoto," I whispered.

* * *

 **A/N: hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I really wanted to focus on Sousuke's inner conflict in this chapter and explain a little more about their romantic pasts, so I hope I did a good job of that! Also, I didn't want to make Haru seem awful, because obviously I like him, but I needed him to be like that for the sake of the story! Let me know what you thought in a comment! Thank you to all of those who have already commented, followed, and favorited!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Curiosity

Sousuke's POV

My throbbing head woke me up along with a heavy feeling on my chest. Oh yeah, Makoto fell asleep on me. I groaned and I rubbed my eyes with a free hand. My other hand was on something. My fingers curiously ran up the surface and I suddenly felt Makoto shiver. That was interesting. I went further up and a soft murmur came from him. I lifted my head a little, realizing that my hand was under his tank top, my fingers crawling up his spine. I suddenly realized that I was touching him in such a way that he might not have been comfortable with so I quickly removed my hand, pulling his tank top back down to cover his back.

God, I could barely remember last night. I faintly remember discussing our pasts and relationships, but I couldn't think of anything else. Wait...wait a minute. We almost kissed last night. And I remember not pulling away...if anything I wanted it to happen. A flush rose to my cheeks, recalling the tingly feeling from alcohol and the warmth of his lips just barely brushing mine.

"Nghh…" Makoto groaned. "Gotta pee," he muttered. I watched him slowly hoist himself up, going slow and making sure not to get too dizzy. His tank top was twisted and one of the thick straps slumped off his shoulder. He rubbed his tired eyes with the heel of his palm, letting out a sigh. When his hand left his face he using the edge of the couch to help him get up. I probably looked like shit considering I felt like it, but Makoto on the other hand stilled looked as attractive as ever. I heard him finally get up and go to the bathroom while I rested my head back, staring at the ceiling.

Realizing this was my only opportunity, I quickly got out my phone and texted Keiichi.

[So Makoto and I got totally wasted last night.] I sent, nervous about his response.

The response was quicker than I thought it would be. [Omg please tell me some dirty, drunk sex occurred.]

I actually laughed out loud at his response. [lol considering I don't even know how gay sex works, no. But we almost kissed.] I heard the toilet flush so I quickly sent one last message. [and I actually wanted to.]

I slid my phone back in my pocket as I heard Makoto walking back from the bathroom. "Hey, Sousuke," he yawned. "Sorry I slept almost directly on you, I'm sure that wasn't comfortable." He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. I finally sat up and when my vertigo settled down I slowly stood up.

"Ugh," I groaned, my head throbbing. "No, you're totally ok. I actually slept like a rock last night." And I liked being so close to you. Those were the words that dared not escape.

"Good," he said in his usual twinkling voice. "So," he turned around with a carton of egg and a package of bacon in his hands, "are you ready for breakfast?"

I stretched my cramping muscles and I swore that Makoto was checking me out. Of course, that could have been my imagination. "Oh yeah," I responded as I walked over to the island countertop of his kitchen. I sat at a stool there, just looking at him getting out the pans he needed to use. He definitely didn't realize how attractive he looked even when doing mundane things. "Want me to cook? We can have a celebratory breakfast as well," I chuckled.

He smiled warmly, "No, that's ok, I wouldn't want a guest to have to do that. Plus, I don't think I can handle any more celebratory anything," he laughed. "Oh God my head hurts."

Although it hurt my aching head to laugh, I did anyway. "Same here. We may have overdid it."

"You don't say," he snorted, cracking four eggs in one of the pans. "You like cheese with your eggs?" He asked.

"I've never tried that, but I'd love to."

He nodded, grabbing some cheddar cheese from the fridge. "So I'm sorry if I did anything weird last night. I don't remember doing anything strange, but that doesn't really mean anything."

I blushed, thinking of our lips barely grazing. "No, no, you were a perfect gentleman as always."

"Good. I'm afraid I'm kind of a lightweight. You had like, what, seven beers?" He turned and gave me a look.

I just laughed, "Well, eight, but who's counting?" He shot me a smile which my heart was not prepared for. "I'm honestly surprised I can function this morning. I usually don't drink that much, but I felt so comfortable with you I figured I could let go."

As the bacon sizzled, so did Makoto's cheeks; although, he turned away a little, trying to hide it. "Yeah, me too."

I suddenly noticed how dark it seemed in the room. "Hm, it seems really dark outside. What time is it?" It must have been like 6AM, right?

"Um," he looked at the clock on his stove, "it's 10:03, actually.

"What? Wow. I haven't slept in this late for years. Well, I also haven't been that drunk in years," I admitted. "It must be stormy outside today. A perfect day for movies and games, if you ask me," I said suggestively.

Makoto chuckled as he separated two plates of food, bringing them over to the counter. He set a plate down in front of me and one for himself. "So a game and movie day, huh?"

"Yeah. Didn't you have those when you were younger?" I asked. I took a bite of the crispy bacon first. "Wow, this bacon is fantastic. Thank you for the meal."

"You're welcome," he bowed slightly as a dramatic gesture. "Well, my parents wanted me to be focused on my studies so I could become a lawyer someday, so I really didn't do a lot of fun stuff like that."

If my mouth wasn't full of delicious cheesy eggs and bacon it would have been hanging wide open. "Seriously? Well we have to do something about that. How about you come over to my place? I have tons of movies to watch and video games we can play." I suddenly realized I might have been sounding a little clingy so I added, "Ah, if you want to, I know you're probably a very busy person."

Makoto laughed, his mouth stuffed with food. He looked like a struggling chipmunk. Once he swallowed he said, "I'm not as busy as you would think," he chuckled. "But yeah, I would love to." His voice became softer and he looked more at his plate than me. He seemed to do that when he got embarrassed or shy, just another cute quirk.

"Ok, then I'd say we have a plan!"

After Makoto took a quick shower and got ready for the day, I cleaned up the beer cans lying around the coffee table and floor. Once he was ready we were off to my place, which was far less interesting than his apartment.

"So my apartment is more...dumpy than yours," I chuckled, unable to say it any other way. It was the way it was and I couldn't hide it.

Makoto gave me a yeah right, look and smirked. I had never seen that face before and it made my stomach tingle for some reason. Did he have a secret sassy side to him that I had yet to discover? "I'm sure it's wonderful. At least you have a car, I take the train to work everyday."

I smirked, "Yes I suppose you're right about that. This car is like my unofficial child," I patted the steering wheel. It was a used car, nothing special, but it functioned properly and could get me from point A to point B, so that was all that mattered.

We pulled into the parking garage in my apartment complex and I led him to the main building. Luckily, the rain started just after we got inside the elevator of the apartments. There was a brief moment of awkward silence as we rode up to the seventh floor, but it was quickly remedied when Makoto looked over at me and smiled.

The elevator dinged and I led him out of it. "Ok, 721 is my apartment," I walked side-by-side with him, kind of self-conscious about my living situation compared to his, but he seemed happy just to be next to me. I couldn't help but smile at myself. When we made it to my apartment I unlocked the door, swinging it open to allow Makoto to enter first. I prayed that it wasn't too messy, and luckily my prayers were answered.

I turned the lights on to reveal my living quarters. My apartment was a basic, one bedroom, one bathroom, livingroom and kitchenette. It had stark white walls and the floors were beige carpeting. It wasn't anything outrageously wonderful, but it wasn't horrible either.

A warm smile spread on Makoto's face as he looked around my apartment, "It's so cozy, I love it," he said.

"I'm glad one of us does," I chuckled. "Here, let me take your coat," I helped him take off his jacket, almost like he was my date in some old-time movie. I hung it on the coat rack right next to the front door along with my own. "Do you mind if I hop in the shower really quick and get changed? I'll only be a couple minutes."

"Oh of course, don't worry about me."

"Ok, great. The movies are on the shelf next to the TV and the video games are right under them. Take a look at them and you can pick out what you want." I began to make my way towards the bathroom and he nodded as he went to look at the plethora of movies and games I had.

While I was in the shower I had time to think about what was going to unfold. Did I have a master plan or even an idea about what was going to happen today? What if he turned to me in the middle of the movie and tried to kiss me? No, that wouldn't happen. That just wasn't like him. But what if we watched a scary movie and he clung to me? That seemed more possible. If that happened he definitely would find out how I feel about him just my hearing the racing of my heart. Video games put less pressure on us both, seeing as there were no awkward sex scenes or jump scares that would demand physical contact. I wasn't sure why I was so worried about this. If I were doing this with Keiichi there would be no problem. I wouldn't have given it another thought. But The more I hung out with Makoto, the more I realized that I didn't think of him as just another friend.

Thankfully, the steam helped my hangover and as I dried off I brushed my teeth. I checked my phone to see the time and realized there was a message from Keiichi. It was a response from earlier that I never read.

[Then you should kiss him.]

He idea of our lips touching made a nervous flutter go through my stomach and I quickly breathed calmly to regain my composure. I would not get nervous over this, it was simply a friendly, platonic day together with Makoto.

After slipping on some joggers and a T-shirt I made my way into the living room to see Makoto looking at picture frames I had on my shelves.

"So what did you find that you wanted to watch?" I asked.

He jumped a little, "Oh jeez, you startled me," he said breathlessly. He tried to hide the fact he was looking at the pictures on my shelf and I wondered why.

"You can look at the pictures, they're nothing personal." I chuckled, trying to make him feel more at ease. He smiled a little and brought over a movie and a game.

"Sorry, I don't want to seem nosy. I just like seeing family photos and stuff."

We both sat on the couch and he set the two choices on the coffee table in front of us.

"It's no problem," I assured him, "I wouldn't put the photos in frames if I didn't want to display them."

Makoto nodded and looked over at the picture one more time. It was a photo of my family at a time where we all got along. I was in my high school uniform, both of my parents at my sides. We were smiling and I distinctly remember having just told them a joke to get a genuine smile for the picture. I didn't remember what the joke was, though. "It's a wonderful picture." He said softly.

I felt bad for a moment. I realized that when I was over his apartment there were no photos of him and his family or even him and his friends. I never would have guessed that this innocent, happy-looking person was actually so lonely. It made me want to assure him that I would be there for him, that he didn't need anyone else as long as I was there, but I could verbalize those feelings.

"Thank you," I said. I realized how lucky I was. My parents and I were in an argument about the family business, something that I knew would blow over at some point, but Makoto's parents were upset at him for a thing he couldn't change, even if he wanted was a moment of silence that was only filled with the sounds of the pouring rain and occasional clap of thunder. Makoto looked like he was in deep thought so I asked him, "Are you ok?"

A little sigh came from him before he said, "Yes, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about the future of my family. I know I should just meet a nice girl and marry her and have kids for the sake of my parent's happiness, but," he turned to me, his brows furrowed, "that wouldn't be fair to me or my wife-and God knows that wouldn't be fair to our kids. I know I would just end up being unfaithful with a man which would only cause heartbreak and scandal." He looked down at his lap, his voice getting softer, "and I wouldn't wish those things on anyone."

Sweet, gentle Makoto was always thinking of other before himself, it seemed. I had never met someone so kind and selfless. "Makoto, I think-if I may say so-you are forgetting about your own happiness." This caused him to look up at me finally, our eyes locking. I sighed, my hand resting on his knee in a comforting manner. A little buzz shot through my fingertips. "A lot of times, parents think they know what's best for us and what will make us happy, but in the end, we create our own happiness and that is what they truly want. Even if it may not seem like it right now, when they find out how happy you are when you find the man you've been waiting for, they will forget their prejudices and realize that they were wrong in what they thought was best for you." I smiled, thinking of my own parents, "Parents really just want to see their children happy with their own lives." Makoto's eyes sparkled with tears filling to the brim. I suddenly panicked a little and quickly placed my hands on his shoulders, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"No, no, I'm not upset," he laughed as he wiped a tear away. "I'm just happy that I've found someone who understands me and cares."

I couldn't help but smile, "Of course."

My body seemed to have a mind of its own for a moment and I pulled him into my chest, hugging him. At first I panicked because I wasn't sure if he felt awkward or wanted a hug, but the moment just felt right. Shy arms came around my waist and I had never felt someone touch me so gently yet yearn for my touch at the same time.

"Can we just stay like this for a while?" He asked, voice muffled by my chest.

I chuckled nervously, knowing he was probably reading me like an open book now that he could hear my heart. If he noticed he didn't say anything, which I was thankful for. "Sure," I answered, relaxing into the couch with my arms around him.

We laid like that for a while, just sitting together in content silence, which said a lot about our relationship. We were comfortable enough with each other to enjoy silence-or in this case, the sound of rain pouring outside and wind whistling. A clap of thunder caused us to jump, the lights even flickering. I prayed the power wouldn't go out. This wasn't the best apartment complex so the power went out frequently when there were storms, so it wasn't a surprise to me, but I didn't want it to ruin Makoto's and my day off.

"So what game did you want to play first?" He murmured, almost like he was beginning to fall asleep.

"Well-" I was cut off with another roar of thunder and the lights went out. Of course. I sighed in frustration. "Well...I guess our only options are card and board games now," I chuckled humorlessly.

Makoto pulled away from me, a surprising smile on his face. I figured he would be disappointed, but he took everything in stride. "Ok. Do you have any candles we could light? Is it quite dark."

"Um, I think so. I'll grab them. My board games are on the bottom shelf. I don't have many, but we can play multiple ones if you want," I said, getting up to grab candles from the kitchen junk drawer.

I heard him rustle around and move a couple things as I found matches and candles and brought them back to the table. He had set out a deck of cards, checkers, and Monopoly. Monopoly was a friendship-ruiner so I wasn't about to choose that game, so I chose checkers. Makoto set up the game as I lit some of the tea candles. They gave off a surprising amount of light, but they were still dim enough to be...romantic. How odd, it was like fate was setting us up on a date.

"Ok, you go first," he said happily.

Even just hearing his voice made me smile. I moved my corner piece to one of the safe side squares where he couldn't jump me. Makoto moved his piece accordingly and it continued on this way for a while. The game went on for a surprising length of time, but I supposed I should have been surprised, he seemed like a very smart person so this game was probably elementary to him. I tried my best, but I kept getting distracted.

"Aaaaand," he declared as he jumped over my last piece, "I win!"

"Now that's not fair," I argued.

"What? Why not?" He questioned incredulously.

"Because you distracted me all throughout the game!"

"Pffft how? I clearly was very focused on winning so I couldn't possible have distracted you," he crossed his arms over his chest, giving me a playful smirk.

I blushed a little, laughing with him. "Yeah, well maybe your face distracts me," I accidentally let out.

"Oh is that so? Well I may not be attractive to you, but at least respect the integrity of game," He asked sarcastically.

"More like the opposite," I muttered under my breath, beginning to set up my pieces again.

I didn't realize he heard me until I looked up and saw a shocked expression. I wasn't one to blush in these kinds of flirty situations, but I couldn't help but do exactly that.

"You think I'm attractive?" He asked softly, his eyes flickering up and down from the game to my eyes. He must not have remembered what I told him yesterday or this wouldn't be a surprise.

"I, uh, yeah," I stammered, rubbing the back of my neck embarrassingly. I couldn't exactly dig myself out of this one. When we were drunk it was one thing, but being completely sober, I didn't have an excuse. Realizing that the cat was out of the bag, there was no point in denying it now. "Listen, I'm not sure if I should tell you this because I don't want to ruin our friendship, but…" I licked my lips, trying to gain the courage I needed to confess. "I like you, Makoto." My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I couldn't look up at him, fearful for his reaction. "I'm not sure in which way, I'm just really confused. I've never liked a guy like this before so I don't know what to think," I admitted sheepishly.

Makoto's hand reached across the table and rested on mine. He squeezed lightly, causing me to look up at him. "I like you, Sousuke. I know how I feel about you, but I am used to feeling this way so it isn't difficult for me to identify. It may take more time for you to figure it out, and that's fine. We don't have to rush. I'm not going anywhere." He gave me a reassuring smile that made me melt. I didn't deserve someone as sweet as he was.

"Thank you," I said softly, turning my hand over to hold his properly.

* * *

We both had work the next day, so after a couple more hours in the darkness (when the lights came back on of course) we decided we should get to bed. I invited him to stay over and he accepted, but I of course did not have an extra bed. I mean, I wasn't exactly taking in the money. I decided I would take the couch and I brought my pillow and blanket out in the living room, leaving another set for Makoto on my actual bed.

"What are you doing?" He asked. I let him borrow some of my pyjamas and he looked beyond adorable. I could get used to seeing him in my clothes.

"Oh, just setting my bed. I want you to have the actual bed. You are my guest, after all." I set my pillow and began to fluff it.

"Why don't we just share your bed? I mean we're friends at this point, so does it matter?" He asked. I was surprised that he said that without any sort of hesitation or nervousness. In fact, I was the one who was getting nervous.

"I mean, I'm ok with it, I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable," I said a lot more convincingly than I felt. My heart was beating so fast. The truth was, I was hoping this would happen. Did it make me a bad person to want to sleep next to him? To want to hold him?

"Psh, don't be silly. Come on," he stretched out his hand to take the blanket I was carrying and I gave it to him as I grabbed the pillow I plopped on the couch.

Makoto didn't seem nervous at all which surprised me. I guess he was more confident than I was. What was I thinking? I didn't have any reason to be nervous. It wasn't like anything was going to happen. I was overthinking this.

By bed was up against a wall, so I crawled in first, wanting to give him space to get up in the middle of the night if he needed to. I laid down just as Makoto got under the covers and my body was already hyper aware of him. I could smell the faint remnants of his cologne and his shampoo. I wanted to curl up against him and hold him, but I couldn't. I was confused and I didn't want to make this harder for myself. Or was this telling me what I was trying to figure out?

Makoto turned off the light on the nightstand and covered himself up. "Goodnight, Sousuke."

"Goodnight Makoto," I said. At this point, I had called him by his given name for so long, I figured that dropping the "-kun" was fine. And he didn't protest.

I tried to settle into sleep, but no matter how much I tried, I kept thinking about Makoto. As I looked at him across from me, his eyes closed and his hair flopped over in his eyes, I thought of Keiichi's text.

[Then you should kiss him.]

I could almost hear Keiichi's voice egging me on as I stared at Makoto's face. But he was sleeping, I couldn't just assault him in his sleep. Or was he sleeping? What would he do if I just leaned over and kissed him? The question kept repeating itself in my head. The worst he could do is pull away...Or totally reject me as a friend and partner. I wasn't sure if my heart could handle that.

I licked my lips nervously, my heart rate picking up the more I thought about his lips on mine. Without realizing it, we were closer than before, not ten inches between our faces. I could feel his warm breath against my face, minty from mouth wash. I wouldn't have been surprised if he could have heard my heart at this point.

Suddenly, his eyes opened and I jumped back a little in surprise. I was thankful that it was ark or he would see my beet-red cheeks. "What's wrong?" He whispered,

"I uh…" I stuttered, "n-nothing."

I started to back up a little, but Makoto caught the front of my shirt with both hands. He scooted even closer, the tip of his nose brushing mine. I could see his brows furrowing, as if he was telling himself, no, you can't…

Sensing his own nervousness, I tried to relax. His eyes were closed, almost as if he was giving me free reign. This was my moment if I wanted it. My nervousness began to dissipate as I brought my hands to his waist a little more confidently. This time I purposely brushed the tip of my nose against his, tilting my head a little to the side. Makoto's grip on my shirt tightened, the cotton straining between his fingers. My own heartbeat thumped in my ears and my stomach was filled with excited butterflies. It was odd, I wasn't nervous as much as I was excited now.

My hand went curiously up his waist, the tip of my nose brushing his cheek and I wandered further away from his lips. I wanted to explore him a little, to find spots he liked and to gage his reactions. He let out a shaky breath as I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. I lingered before moving to his chin where I pressed another kiss. His skin was warm and soft, trembling under my lips. I pressed one last kiss on the corner of his mouth, teasing him just a little. I felt his lips respond like he was trying to tell me to kiss him without using words.

I brushed my lips back and forth across his, an electric current zapping my mouth, my stomach flipping. I parted my lips a little more, finally applying pressure to his. At first it was just a soft touch, a curious experiment on my part. The hands that were clinging onto my shirt flattened on my chest. I was sure he could feel my heart pounding, but for some reason I wasn't embarrassed. I almost wanted him to know how he made me feel. I pulled away after a chaste kiss, trying to see what his reaction would be.

His eyes slowly opened, as did mine, and we looked at each other. Before I could comprehend what I was even feeling, I leaned in again and pressed my mouth against his. I parted my lips, pressing fully and wholly. His body cuddled closer to mine and my arm came around his back to hold him closer. Our mouths opened in slow, smoldering patterns, yet got deeper with every kiss. My hand caressed his face, my thumb admiring his cheekbone delicately then stroking lovingly. His mouth was hot and his lips were wet against mine, our breath mingling. I couldn't describe how good I felt to kiss him and hold him. I had never felt this way before.

My body began to react and I knew that I needed to stop soon or I would probably do something I would regret. Just as I began to pull away slowly, dragging his lower lip between my teeth, he let out a soft whimper. Usually noises like that had no affect on me, but my body sizzled in the strangest places when he released that noise. Our breathing was slightly heavier than normal, our bodies getting hot underneath the covers.

When our lips separated, our eyes locked.

"I-I'm sorry," I said softly, "I couldn't stop myself."

Makoto smiled in the darkness, his white teeth bright. "I'm glad you didn't."

* * *

 **A/N: hello everyone! So this was just another "progressing their relationship" chapter, but the next one will finally introduce some conflict (mwahaha!). I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't worry, their future kisses will be hotter ;) I gotta save some stuff for later! Thank you to everyone who reads, comment, favorites, and follows!**


	5. Chapter 5 - Realization

Sousuke's POV

Work had been even busier that usual and the boss said we needed to hire more people. I groaned at the thought of having to start a whole new system with new people. We were a well-oiled machine with who we had now, so the idea of hiring more people didn't make sense to me. I mean, what if they were better than me at doing drive-thru orders? I couldn't have that. But there wasn't exactly anything I could do about it, either. A couple weeks went by of holding interviews and I saw many people coming in and out for the job interview, but there was no word on who would be hired yet.

As I waited for more orders I found myself daydreaming about Makoto, of course. We hadn't seen each other face to face in a couple weeks, but we still texted daily. I missed seeing him, honestly, and I wanted to make plans with him for dinner or something.

I also wanted to talk about the kiss we shared a few weeks back. Neither of us really talked about it. When we got up in the morning there was no discussion, but at the same time there was no awkwardness because of it. We were almost acting like nothing happened. It made me anxious and kind of upset because I really, really wanted to talk to him about it. I didn't just kiss people willy-nilly and so that meant that I truly wanted to kiss him. Which in turn meant that I had romantic feelings for him.

"Oi, Sousuke," Keiichi hollered. I jumped, turning around to face him. There was a girl standing next to him who was wearing the same aprons that we wore. "Meet Megumi-chan." He smiled at her then looked to me. "She's one of the two new workers we hired. The other guy isn't working today so I'll have to introduce you to him another time."

I took a couple steps forward and bowed politely. "Nice to meet you, Megumi-chan. I'm sure you'll love it here."

She had a warm, twinkling smile on her face. "Nice to meet you, too, Sousuke. I think I will like it here."

She was a short, small girl, probably a year or so younger than me, with long, black hair and glossy, pink lips. She was cute but I felt unusual. Normally I'd probably be somewhat interested in her, but my mind was so clouded with thoughts of Makoto that there was no room for her.

"Ok, Sousuke," Keiichi started, "you are going to be training Megumi-chan on how to make our most-popular drinks first and I'll take over when we get to the more obscure ones, ok?"

I smiled for the sake of politeness. "Of course." Once Keiichi left to work the window, I led Megumi-chan back to the preparation counters.

"Ok, so I guess we can just start right away," I said, not really knowing how to begin this training.

She watched me closely as I explained where all the supplies were kept and where the different syrups and sugars and milks were stored. I taught her some short lingo that would be written on cups to let you know what order the customer wanted and she seemed to be understanding so far. During the whole process, I could tell that she was getting a little flirtatious and even though I should have been flattered, I was kind of annoyed. Almost as if I expected her to know that I was interested in someone else. The flattery only continued during the day and I felt like it was getting worse. I was always polite about it, almost trying to act like I didn't notice so that it would be become awkward. Not that she wasn't attractive or good at flirting, I just had no interest in her.

The rest of my shift I spent teaching her how to make drinks, focusing on the most popular ones like Keiichi asked me to. She seemed to pick up on them quickly, but asked, "wow, Sousuke how can you remember all these?" In a cutesy tone.

"Ah," I chuckled, "I've been here for quite a while. You'll get used to it and it will become second nature to you," I assured her. I have her a soft smile and a blush bloomed on her cheeks. All I could think of was Makoto's blushing face, oddly enough.

"Well, maybe you and I can hang out sometime and you can teach me some tricks for remembering," she said suggestively. I wasn't used to people being so outwardly flirtatious that I wasn't sure what to say.

"Yeah," I semi-laughed awkwardly. She was attractive and obviously interested in me, but I couldn't think of anyone but Makoto. It's like no one mattered but him. Then again, for my parents sake, I should try to fall in love with a woman.

I had conflicting feelings battling inside me. Part of me said fuck it, and wanted to follow wherever my heart was taking me with Makoto, but the other part of me said that I should do something in my life to make my parents proud of me. My parents always wanted grandkids and of course that would mean there could be another generation to run the business when I died. I didn't want to think about my parents influencing my decisions on who to date, but it was kind of impossible. I had been such a let down to them already...

"Sousuke," a high-pitched voice rang in my ears. Startled, I turned and Megumi was there, batting her eyelashes. "I think I got these drink done right."

I refocused myself, looking at each drink. I picked them up one by one and took a sip of each, seeing if they were up to our standards. They tasted just like they should have so I gave her a thumbs up. "Good job. See? that wasn't too difficult." I set the last drink on the counter and her hand touched mine. I was so used to feeling a buzz every time Makoto touched me and was not surprised that her touch did nothing for me. If anything, she would prove that I felt romantically for Makoto.

"Say, Sousuke," she twirled a lock of her hair with her finger, "would you want to, maybe, go out for dinner tonight? Nothing special, my friends are having a mixer."

Although I wanted to say no, that nagging part of me that wanted to be accepted by my parents and society wanted to say yes. Why did I care what people thought? I couldn't answer that.

"Uh, s-sure," the words came stumbling out of my mouth.

Dammit.

* * *

"So anyway, after that, he, like, never texted me," the annoying voice of a stereotypical female echoed in my ears. I ended up going to this mixer with Megumi, but I already felt out of place.

Firstly, I was pretty sure that I was the only one at the table with enough of a moral conscience to not sleep with one of the random people here. Second, Megumi sat next to me and her hand kept scaling up my thigh. I wasn't one for public displays of affection, especially when I didn't feel especially romantic towards the person trying to initiate it. I took her hand and placed it on her own lap, trying to turn her down gently, but the teasing glance she gave me told me that she thought I was the one teasing her.

The conversations were mostly lewd ones from the guys with forced laughter from the girls and this lasted way too long for my liking. I felt like I was wasting time by being here, time that I could have spent with Makoto. I thought of my parents again and realized that it didn't make a difference if I got married to a woman and had kids. They would be just as disappointed in me then as they were now. I couldn't live my life to please them, especially if that meant doing things I didn't want to do. With this realization I wanted to get up and leave, but I didn't want to be rude.

"So Sousuke," one of the half-drunk guys across from me yelled, "where do you work?"

 _Finally not a conversation about sex positions_ , I thought. "A coffee shop down the street," I answered, taking a drink of the beer in front of me. This was the only thing keeping me from leaving.

"Oh cool. You going to college, too?" The same guy asked.

"No," I set my drink down, "I hope to own a café of my own someday, so I'm working towards that." Rather than words of encouragement or at least some interest, the drunk men started laughing. If they knew that I could beat the shit out of them with hardly lifting a finger, they wouldn't have laughed so freely. "Is something funny?" I asked, my voice laced with anger. I was so done with people thinking my dream was stupid and with my parents not believing in me. These people were no different. I suddenly realized that the only person who ever cared about my dreams or my feelings was Makoto.

"Um, that dream of yours is kinda...gay," one of the men laughed.

This started a domino effect of laughter and I could sense Megumi's panic next to me. "Guys, leave him alone. He has way better dreams than any of you pieces of shit."

Her angry tone hushed the laughter, but I felt like that wasn't enough. "Not only that, but I am actually gay, so," I stood up, tossing money on the table for the beer I drank, "joke's on you."

I couldn't believe what left my mouth. What was even stranger was that it didn't feel weird to have those words leave my mouth. I felt no shame in saying that. It was almost liberating.

Megumi's face turned to me in horror and she got up from the table. "Let me walk with you," she said, grabbing onto my arm. We made it outside the bar and she hurriedly said, "I'm so sorry, my friends are assholes when they're drunk."

For some reason, rather than being angry, I was smiling. "It's ok. I should thank you, actually." This caused her to raise an eyebrow. "I wouldn't know my own feelings had that not happened." She must have thought I was talking about her because she quickly tried to change my mind.

"Sousuke, I'm nothing like them," she assured me, her hands on my arms. "I'll make you feel better, trust me," she said in a softer, more intimate tone. She went on her tiptoes and whispered in my ear, "a blowjob would make you feel better, wouldn't it?"

I almost laughed. Yeah, a blowjob would be nice, but not from her. I wondered if this tactic worked for her. "I'm sorry, Megumi, but I have to go. You're a nice girl, but...I think I'm in love with someone."

She finally backed down, a sad look in her eyes, almost like a puppy. "I understand. I hope this won't stop us from being friends, though." She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear innocently even though moments ago she was the opposite of innocent.

I smiled, "not at all. Thanks for the invite. I gotta get going, though."

To be honest, this only confirmed that what I felt for Makoto was genuine, so I should have thanked her for that.

* * *

When I got home, I was consumed with thoughts of Makoto. I thought of his smile, his blush, his laugh. Most of all, I imagined what he looked like while making love. I was never one to call sex "making love", but with Makoto, that's what it would be. There was nothing dirty about so even thinking about calling it "sex" just didn't feel right. I suddenly realized, I had had sex before, but I had never really, truly, made love before.

I sat on my bed and got the box of notes that I kept under my bed out again. I laid all of the notes out, picking up each one and imagining what he looked like while writing them. He probably looked as sweet as he always did, but I wondered what he looked like when writing I really like you. I found that note again and traced my fingers over the deep grooves made by his pen.

I laid on my side, looking at the note, pictures of him dancing in my head. I imagined kissing him, lacing my tongue with his, feeling his strong body with my hands, and hearing soft moans come from him. All I could think about was making him feel good. I wanted to look at his beautiful face, his countenance erotic and his body at the pique of pleasure. Without thinking, I groped the front of my pants. I wasn't sure why I felt in the mood to do this now, but thinking about pleasuring Makoto made me aroused. I didn't think it was wrong to want to make the person I cared about feel good, so imagining this wasn't a bad thing.

I slid my hand down my pants and under my boxers, beginning to stroke my half-hard cock. I let out a soft groan as I imagined Makoto asking me to touch him and to kiss him in places he had never been touched or kissed before. I wanted to feel his hard, hot body beneath me and hear his voice cry out in ecstasy. I began to stroke myself, my grip hard and fast. I just wanted to cum and I didn't care how fast I came unraveled. I could almost feel him there with me, laying across from me, breathing hard and touching himself. I wondered what he looked like when he touched himself. Did he like it hard and fast or slow and thorough? I hoped that I would be able to know the answer someday.

I picked up the pace, precum already dribbling down my shaft. I used my free hand to cup my balls, massaging and slightly squeezing the orbs. I got that hot, molten feeling in my stomach that trailed to my erection, my balls tingling with warmth and pleasure. My body was a live wire and I hadn't felt so good in such a long time.

"Ah...hah…" I breathed, my deep voice reverberating in the room. I massaged the head of my cock, imagining it was Makoto's thumb doing it, and then I dipped my thumb into the leaking slit, imagining it was his tongue.

Without much warning or control on my part, I suddenly felt that dam inside me break and my body shivered as pleasure coursed through my veins. I cried out his name in a deep groan, still stroking myself to completion.

Once it was done, I laid in my bed, my flaccid cock in my hand and my body tingling and warm from my orgasm. I looked down at couldn't find it in myself to care that I dirtied my clothes and my comforter. Just for a moment, I was in complete bliss, my mind at peace.

I didn't care what people thought, I liked Makoto and I was going to tell him tomorrow.

* * *

 **A/N: hello there! I hope you liked this chapter! If you did, let me know in a comment! Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, follows, and favorites!**


	6. Chapter 6 - Wine-Flavored Kisses

Sousuke's POV

I couldn't help but feel guilty about going to that mixer with Megumi, even if it was only for a couple minutes. Even though Makoto and I weren't dating or anything, I felt like I needed to tell him. This may have been a horrible idea, but I figured being honest with him was the best thing to do. I also would get to talk to him about the kiss we shared a couple weeks ago that we never discussed. I usually wasn't one to share my feelings, but I felt like it was the only way to ease my mind.

I also wasn't sure if I should tell him that I jacked off thinking about him the other night. That was a whole other topic.

This was the first day off I had had in awhile and I figured I could invite Makoto over for dinner then we could talk. I grabbed my phone and started texting.

[Hey, Makoto. I got the day off today. Would you wanna come over for dinner?]

I figured that was casual enough not to cause suspicion.

A few moments later I got his response. [of course! What time were you thinking? And should I bring anything?]

[around 5? You can come over and we can talk a little before dinner that way. And you only need to bring yourself lol]

I nervously awaited his response.

[ok, sounds great! Haha I'll try not to forget ^_ ]

My heartbeat quickened and I found myself smiling. Now all there was to do was prepare dinner.

* * *

I decided that a meal that didn't require a lot of time away from talking would be the best, and since lasagna took a while to bake, that was my decision. I wasn't sure if Makoto liked Italian food, so for a moment I wondered if I should ask him, but of course I realized this when I was just about to put it in the oven.

With one last sprinkling of mozzarella, I slid the lasagna in the oven to bake, and as if on cue, there was a knock at the door.

"Coming!" I called. I quickly took off my oven mitts.

I opened the door and Makoto was standing there, his smile in full bloom. He was wearing casual clothes, a zip-up hoodie with a tank top and jeans. Without his suit on, you never would have thought he was a high-paid prosecutors assistant.

"Hi," he said as I motioned him to come inside. I closed the door and he turned to face me. "Wow, it smells wonderful in here. What are you making?"

"Lasagna. I hope you like Italian food. I totally forgot to ask before I started making it," I walked over to the kitchen to get some red wine for us to drink. It seemed like we were always drinking when we got together-not that that was a bad thing.

"Oh, no, I love Italian food. Don't worry so much," he sat on the sofa and I joined him, two glasses of wine in hand. I handed him one and he thanked me.

We both took a moment to unwind, sitting back in the softness of the couch. We were sitting so that our bodies were turned towards one another, one leg on the couch and an arm on the back of the couch. "So," I said, taking a sip of wine, "how has your day been?"

He let out a heavy sigh, but his smile didn't fade. "Well, my boss' case got dropped so I inadvertently got the day off-which I am thankful for. Other than that I've been just lazing around my house, watching tv and relaxing. How about yourself?" He brought the glass to his mouth and I couldn't stop staring at his lips, which reminded me of what I wanted to talk about.

I wasn't sure how to bring the subject up, so I answered his question first. "Oh I just cleaned a bit before you got here and watched some tv. Sounds like we both had a relaxing day so far."

He chuckled, "seems so." He looked up at me as he drank from his glass, his eyes looking sultry even though I knew he wasn't doing it on purpose. I felt drawn to him no matter what he did, it seemed.

I set my glass down on the coffee table and with a heavy breath, I said, "Makoto, I want to confess something." My heart was in my throat as I spoke. He raised his eyebrows, curious. "The other day, I went to a mixer with a new girl at work."

His demeanor changed drastically, his face having an expression of disappointment. I almost panicked, but I needed to say the rest of my speech. "Oh...I mean, I understand…"

My hand went to his shoulder and he flinched a little. This wasn't what I wanted, this wasn't what I imagined this going like. "No, no, no, you don't understand, she invited me, but I didn't really want to go."

"No I get it. You don't need to explain it to me," He said softly, setting his glass on the coffee table as well.

"Makoto," I said, my voice finally sounding confident and deep. This caught his attention, his eyes growing wide. "Please listen. I just went with her to see if…" the words were caught in my throat, but I knew they needed to be said, "to see if I understood what my feelings for you are."

I thought this would make him happier, but he seemed just as melancholy. "And I assume you found out how you feel?"

"I did. I went out with her in an attempt to try for my parents' sake, but," Makoto finally looked up at me, "but it was awful." I licked my lips and explained, "the whole time all I could think was how I could have been spending that time with you rather than her and her stupid friends." He still said nothing, so I continued. "Makoto," I took his hand in mine and he allowed it, "you are the only person I know who listens to me, cares about my feelings, my dreams, my goals. No one in my life has ever been as kind as you are to me and…" I swallowed, the hardest part of my confession about to leave my mouth, "and I care about you, too. I want to know what your dreams are and what you want in the future. I want to see you happy and I want to be there for you when you aren't. What do you think that means?" I tried to fish for an answer from him rather than speaking it out loud.

He bit his lower lip before answering. "I don't know," he said softly.

I smiled a little, my fingers brushing his cheek with my free hand, "I think it means I like you."

A blush formed on his cheeks and he stammered, "W-well you may think that now, but when a beautiful girl comes along you may change your mind."

I shook my head slightly, "not possible."

"Well how do you know? How can you know?"

My mind suddenly snapped and I admitted something I probably shouldn't have. "Makoto, if I didn't really like you, why would I jack off thinking about you? I had never thought of anyone while doing that before in my life." I suddenly realized what escaped my mouth and it was my turn to blush, although his blush deepened, too. There was an awkward silence in the air that made me want to crawl in a hole and die. I quickly withdrew my hand that was reaching towards him and looked at my lap, waiting for his judgement.

"You...thinking of me?" He murmured. I suddenly didn't know what to say. I had admitted something I probably should have been ashamed of, but for some reason I wasn't. My jaw flexed as I thought of something to say and thankfully he spoke before I did. "So that kiss from before...that wasn't a dream?"

I looked up, shocked. I almost laughed just from happiness, but I held it back. "No, it was real. Very real."

He looked at me dreamily, almost as if he couldn't believe what was happening. "I...I don't know what to say, I'm so happy," a smile suddenly spread on his face and he wiped away a tear that came down his cheek.

"Me, too," I said softly. My fingers came from under his chin, tilting his head up to look at me. I leaned in a brushed his lips against mine. I felt a shaky breath come from him and my own body started reacting. "Can I kiss you?"

Rather than saying anything, he pressed his lips firmly against mine. I felt like I was getting high off of the softness of his lips and the warmth of his mouth. I wondered for a moment how he felt about me. I knew he kinda liked me, but what about me did he like? When we kissed how did he feel? I wanted to ask, but I wasn't sure if now was the right time. I wanted to tell him that I felt something I had never felt before when we kissed. When we kissed, the rest of the world was gone and all of my problems disappeared.

Our lips opened and we started a slow rhythm. I caressed the side of the his face tilting my own a little more so I could kiss him even deeper. The soft noises of our lips pressing together and their slight suction made my stomach fill with warmth and I wanted to hear even more. Makoto's arms came around my neck shyly, his fingers sliding into my hair to pull me closer. My hands rested on his hips and I scooted closer, our legs resting on top of one another's.

His mouth was so hot and felt smooth and wet on my own. He kissed me like he meant it, each kiss deep and at the same time slow, as if he wanted to memorize the shape and feel of my mouth. I caught his lower lip between my own lips and sucked it into my mouth, lightly pulling before going to back to our rhythm. I wanted to taste more of him, to feel the smoothness of his mouth and tongue against my own.

"Mmph…" I soft noise came from Makoto's lips, a slight vibration against my mouth. My body suddenly got hotter and I knew I wanted to hear more of those noises coming from him. I knew he was blushing without even touching his face and the thought of his cute, rosy cheeks and how I wanted to see them, but I couldn't pull away from him. His hands slid slowly from the back of my neck to my chest, touching purposefully and without hesitation. I wanted to feel his hands all over my body and I wanted to touch him as well.

I pulled away slightly, a soft sucking sound coming from our mouths as I did so. I opened my eyes to see his staring back at me, hazy with arousal and I knew mine looked the same. I didn't want to stop just yet and I didn't think that he did either.

I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before I slid my open lips across his jaw, nipping lightly. A soft breath escaped his lips and this time I could feel the heat radiating from his blush. My hands grew curious as well and I brought one to his chest, admiring the firm muscles. I slipped my hand inside his hoodie and my thumb brushed the hard peak of his nipple over his shirt. I felt his body shiver.

"Ah...Sou..Sousuke," he breathed, his arms sliding around my back. He wanted me closer and that was something that I was happy to do.

I pressed soft, open kisses to his his neck, my tongue peeking out to flick against his hot skin. The nipple that I brushed grew even harder under my thumb and I continued to rub it gently.

The strange thing was, I wasn't even the one being touched and I still felt so hot and aroused. My body was tingling and warm, every fiber of my being at attention, picking up everything. I heard his soft, almost inaudible panting, felt his heartbeat under my hand and tongue, and felt the goosebumps traveling across his skin.

I kissed down to his collarbones, the ones that I had imagined sucking before. With the hand that was rubbing his nipple, I pulled his shirt down a little, exposing his collarbones more to me. I pushed his hoodie off one shoulder, able to do the same with the strap of his tank top. My lips pressed softly and fully against his throat, inching downwards until I made it to his collarbone. First, I kissed the protruding bone, then I opened my lips and kissed and sucked, my tongue swiping over the area. His hand came into my hair, holding me to his body in a warm embrace.

After a moment of kissing and nibbling the area, I pulled away and sat up to look into his eyes. They were sparkling and his cheeks were rosy. I wanted a picture of that face that I could look at whenever I felt lonely or upset. That face could make me feel amazing things.

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his before whispering, "tongue?"

He swallowed, looking a bit dazed before breathing back, "uh-huh."

My hand came up to his jaw, coaxing his open, and our tongues melted together, our lips not even touching yet. I swirled my tongue around his playfully and he returned the gesture. He tasted even better than I imagined. Like peppermint and sweets. Our lips finally met and our tongues rolled against each other's, curiously feeling and exploring each other's mouths and savoring the smooth texture of tongues sliding together.

Even though we were only kissing, I felt my body begin to react in a more erotic way, a warmth collecting in the pit of my stomach. I felt myself begin to get hard, but rather than panic, I almost wanted him to feel it. I wanted him to know this was how he made me feel. My body ached for him. I ached to know his intimate touches and the feeling of his soft skin against mine, and I wanted to know if he felt the same way.

His hands slid down my arms, squeezing and massaging my biceps before moving back up again, his fingers teasingly sliding up my short sleeve. His fingers flirted with the bare skin of my shoulders and even though that wasn't an area that I usually considered arousing, it was turning me on. I brought a hand to his thigh, curiously beginning to slide up. I squeezed the firm muscle there, adoring his perfect body. His body suddenly jerked and he pulled away quickly. I opened my eyes, surprised, to see Makoto disheveled, a purple mark beginning to appear on his collarbone and his lips glistening and swollen. I also noticed his hands shielding a more intimate area of his. I also realized an obvious tent in my own pants.

"Ah...I-I'm sorry," he breathed, his body obviously restless.

That was the cutest, yet most arousing thing I had ever seen. A hard throb in my pants reminded me that my body was aching for something more, but I wasn't about to push Makoto into doing anything like that.

"Don't be sorry, I feel amazing," I assured him. He bit his lip, obviously restless. I wondered for a moment what he looked like when he was masturbating, if he ever did masturbate. "I'm glad you feel good, too."

He blushed a deeper red. "Y-yeah. I'm sorry, I've never kissed anyone like that before so I didn't really know what I was doing."

This surprised me, "well you could have fooled me. You're a wonderful kisser," I smiled and he smiled shyly back at me.

"You, too," he said softly. "I-I'm not used to being touched so intimately. I didn't even know that you touching my...chest could feel that good. Especially because I'm a man."

Even though he wasn't speaking in a sexual way, it still made me want to tackle him to the couch and drown him in pleasure. He was too innocent for his own good. "I didn't know that either, it just felt right to do it, I guess."

We both sat there for a moment, blushing at each other as we waited for our bodies to calm down. It would take me a couple minutes to calm down completely and I figured he was the same. Although, all I wanted to do was jack off thinking of him. Him watching me do it would be even better.

"I-I'm gonna go wash my face with some cold water. I'll be right back." He said as he got up and headed to the bathroom.

Once he was out of earshot, I leaned back into the couch, shocked and pleased at what just happened. I couldn't believe we just made out to the point where we got hard. The thought of his tongue and his touches sprang up in my mind again, but I knew I needed to calm down because he was going to be out of the bathroom soon. I just couldn't believe it.

And I couldn't stop smiling. I had never been this happy in my life.

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and took it out. Of course this was when a call from my mom had to ruin the moment.

* * *

 **A/N: hello there! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Things are starting to get juicier between our lover-boys and it will only get better from here! Thank you to everyone who reads, follows, favorites, and comments!**


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